Sunday, March 19, 2006
Hold the guilt, please
Heresy = "An opinion held in opposition to the commonly received doctrine, and tending to promote division or dissention."
I was talking to this yungerman at a Kiddush yesterday. Truthfully he's not the average Chassidishe Yungerman, but only because he decided not to be. In short he's mad at G-d for making him Jewish, and with a guilty conscience to boot. He'd like to abandon Yiddishkeit but he can't because his conscience won't let him, it keeps him up at night if he sins. This man has raised 7 good kids like this, without ever hiding his feelings, and oh, he's got a mouth like a sewer too.
We got on to the discussion by mentioning what else? Lubavitch. He said that he pities the Shluchim - Meshiloochim - was his word, for being forced to go on Shlichus to places like Hong Kong and Atlanta. "Forced?, by whom" was my reaction, but he was adamant in his views, stubbornly so, not wanting to hear out what I had to say. כפה עליהם הר כגיגית was his response, I was forced by Har Sinai, and I now have no choice, since I now feel guilty when I do an Aveirah.
What I'd like to know is the following:
1) How and why does a guy like this who claims to be afraid only of his guilty conscience, continue living his life, on the outside as a religious Jew? Obviously he only goes through the motions when it comes to Torah and Mitzvos, but if society is not his issue, and he speaks openly of true intentions, then he obviously doesn't care what people think, so why continue wearing a Shtreimel and Bekeshe and bothering to roll up your long beard every morning?
2) The contradictions abound as well. Here's a man who does things only because he feels guilty about them later. He does not worry about Schar and Eynesh, at least it wasn't mentioned in his discussion, I'm not quite sure why not though. Does he believe in them? it would seem like he does, since he quoted the Gemoroh of Kofoh Aleyhem etc., and if he didn't believe it he probably wouldn't quote it. If the wole problem is guilt wouldn't it go away after a while? After all he's not the only who's left the fold, correct? So what's the big deal here?
3) What does a child like that think when he hears these words from his father?, and I know he does because one son was present during our conversation, can he just tune it out and let his Yeshivah education take over? Yeshivos after all don't discuss such matters, so how would his Yeshivah education counter such talk?
It just isn't fair to those who do put in their sweat and blood into their kids religious upbringing....